False Dichotomy
Image source: Unsplash
by Namrata Kantamneni
Career or family?
On the subject of marriage, we often declare our need to prioritize our professions.
But is that truly the whole story, that we must choose only one?
I reflected on this question as I sat in the car next to my mother,
Confused after receiving my acceptance to medical school.
Hot tears softly slipped down my cheeks as I wondered whether I had made the right choice,
Leaving behind the security of a stable job, uncertain of what lay ahead.
I witnessed the toll that the medical profession exacts,
Devouring those who enter with hopeful expectations born from their gentle souls,
Transforming once-compassionate doctors into frazzled shells of their former selves,
Stripped of energy, unable to engage in meaningful relationships.
They return home, weary and distant from their parents, spouse, and kids,
Ultimately, finding themselves alone.
In that moment, I turned to my mother, asking, “Is the career truly worth it?”
In response, she shared her own tale.
Though not a physician, she offers much wisdom from her toil,
Working sixty hours a week for nearly three decades,
Juggling multiple jobs, never content to be idle, always ambitious, workaholic.
She takes pride in her precision, her perfectionistic ability to make very few mistakes,
In her ironclad strength and determination to bend reality to her will.
And she excels as a devoted wife and mother as well.
Her story reassures me that marriage and career need not be battling adversaries,
Rather, they are intertwined aspects of a fulfilling life,
A false dichotomy concocted by our minds.
As physicians, we will all face those challenging days at work—
The appointments that run an hour late,
Skipping breakfast, battling traffic,
The backlog of progress notes haunting us.
So what?
Did we enter medicine for fleeting moments of joyful display?
Do we confess to our patients, “I’m not feeling the passion today?”
Or do we lean into our training,
Trusting in the expertise we’ve painstakingly crafted,
Finding meaning in every task,
Even in the mundane act of completing forms?
My mother taught me the latter,
To seek fulfillment in each action, each job,
No matter how trivial it may seem.
To seek satisfaction from your actions,
Rather than expectations of the outcomes of your actions.
Isn’t that what it means to be a true professional?
To be a person who treats their job with the respect it is due,
No matter how unsavory it may be?
This philosophy resonates deeply within me.
It is the essence of Karma Yoga,
The principle that doing your job well is itself a meditative practice.
But why should I believe this?
Like everything else in my life,
I asked why.
Eventually, I found an answer:
So that my patients receive my meticulously crafted care,
Even if that means simply filling out insurance forms,
Ensuring they can afford the treatment they need.
So that I return home, fulfilled by my efforts and the small impact I made,
Free from burdensome thoughts and expectations of how life should be,
With energy to nurture relationships with parents, a future spouse, and eventual children.
So I appreciate life as is.
Thus, the false dichotomy fades away,
And perhaps therein lies the key to true happiness.
Namrata Kantamneni is a third-year medical student at the UTCOMLS
